Reason for starting this blog…

September 20, 2018

Hello again!  I hope that you’ve taken time to read my “about” section for this blog.  It will help with the understanding of this first blog post.  In about late 2016 or early 2017 I was on Pinterest (my personal page) and I noticed one day that I had about 300 or so followers.  I was like, “Hey, that’s cool.”  I had about 180 or so people/pages that I was following at the time.  I don’t do much social media and I don’t really care about numbers; but, I found it interesting that I had more followers than people/pages that I was following at the time.  Then, a couple of months passed by and I noticed that I had a few hundred more followers.  I wasn’t really paying much attention, but within about six months or so I noticed that I had about 1,300 or so followers.  That’s when I began to realize that something was going on.  Before I knew it, I had about 3,000 or so followers.  These are small numbers compared to some people, but I’m just a regular person and not promoting anything; so, I was sort of in awe that people were following me.  I couldn’t understand it until I realized that most of the pins that people were repining were inspirational pins.

It sort of hit me in the face that people were hurting and looking for hope.  I couldn’t blame them, I was hurting as well.  I was going through a divorce and had never experienced as much personal pain in my life.  Well, I made a “half thought out deal” with God (ha, ha) when I had about 3,500 followers that if he got me to 5,000 followers that I would start a blog.  Not because I wanted to, but because I felt like it was something that I was supposed to do.  Well, wouldn’t you know that within about two months (wow!) I was at 5,700 followers! It was October 2017 when I surpassed the 5,000 mark and God was showing me that not only is He going to do that, but He’s going to surpass that just so that I understand what I’m supposed to do.  Well, I was on vacation at the time and told myself that when I got back that I would start the blog that I felt that I was supposed to start.  But, time passed by and I didn’t do anything about it.  The thought popped into my mind from time to time about the deal I made with God and how I hadn’t done it yet.  But, life (my gloriously boring life) somehow was keeping me busy and I found reasons to not start it, one of which was that I had no idea where to start – even though I had a secret Pinterest board full of pins on “how to start a blog.”  But, fast forward to August 2018 (and there’s a lot that happened that I glossed over, but I’ll talk about that later) and I was reading the book, “The Circle Maker,” when God spoke to me and reminded me about the blog that I told Him I would write concerning how He had worked in my life up to that point.  God is currently working in my life right now as well, but it’s concerning the next chapter of my life.

There’s a ton of information that I want to share with you that I just blew past, but that will have to wait for another blog post.  Here’s the short version (as I’m thinking/writing this I don’t even know if it’s going to come out the right way): In late 2015 my husband of 10 years said that he wanted a divorce, I wrote down all of my fears of what might happen in the separation/divorce and wouldn’t you know that they ALL happened (even down to my wildest unfortunate dreams).  God began to give me very clear signs that my marriage was over and that it was time to move on.  It was a painful and somewhat messy divorce.  I was also anxious about going to court for the separation of assets.  But, God (He’s so good!) gave me a peace that is described in the Bible in Philippians 4:4-7:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NIV).

Never before had I experienced peace like it in my life!  Given my court date was looming nearer every day it didn’t make sense that I felt that peaceful.  I knew myself well enough to know that it was very uncharacteristic of me not to be anxious; but, even when I tried to think about things, “just to be prepared for the ‘what ifs’ that might come about,” I couldn’t do it because “something” inside of me just wouldn’t allow myself to go there.  Well, that “something” was God and He worked to soften my ex-husband’s hardened heart in a miraculous way.  You may not think of it as a miracle, but if you were in my shoes at the time –you’d probably say the same thing.

I have so much to share with you about how God has worked in my life in the past couple of years!  I’m sitting here thinking, “How am I going to unpack all that is on my heart and that I feel like I need to share?”  It’s not lost on me that if I had just been obedient to God when He first called me to do this that it would have been a lot easier.  Maybe you’ve had a similar situation?  [Sigh] I have a LOT to share with you, my friend.  I feel like I could sit and write a book.  It would be more like a journal of my life though and even I wouldn’t want to sit and read that – nor write it.  So, I’m just going to have to be thoughtful about what I share and pray that God gives me the words to write for what He’s put on my heart.  I believe the saying is, “Where God guides, He provides” (summarized version of Isaiah 58:11).

Please be patient with me as I go through this process of finding a rhythm of how to write and explain to you what’s in my head and on my heart to share with you.  God has really blessed me and protected me and most recently He has REALLY gotten a hold of my heart to teach me to trust Him.  Aaarrgghh – I really wish that I could do a brain dump and share my heart with you.  There’s soooo much inside of me right now and I don’t know where to start.  Stay tuned.  This is going to be interesting.  I’m not sure if I should start where I am currently in life and weave in the past or start with the past and work my way to present day.  I’m thinking that I should just start with where I am right now.  I’m pretty sure that I’m breaking some sort of blogging rule by writing my thought process out for you to read.  Oh well!

Friend, God has been with me in my desperate times when I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day because the emotional pain felt so overwhelming.  He’s given me peace about a situation that didn’t make sense at the time and seemed a little reckless to not have a battle plan prepared.  He’s been my protector in dangerous times, my “deal finder” when large purchases were made, and most recently, I think He’s played “matchmaker.”  Time will tell on the last one – there’s going to be a huge blog post about it if He brings the miracle that I’ve been praying for.  No matter what I’ve been through though, God has brought friends, family, and strangers in to my life at just the right time.

As far as the name for my blog, “Waiting Expectantly” – it has a lot to do with how God is speaking to me in my life right now.  I also plan on taking the lessons that I’m being taught right now and moving forward with them in the future to wait expectantly on God in the future as well.  I’m currently single and God has used a recent misstep on my part to show me how to rely on Him.  [Sorry to be so vague, but I’ll write more about myself and my life later.]  Relying on God sounds simple, but maybe you can relate to how incredibly hard it can be sometimes!  I truly am waiting expectantly on God to answer my prayers.  While this blog was brought about because of a deal that I made with God, it also has roots from the inspiration I found in the book, “The Circle Maker.”  I’ll speak more about that later, but it’s opened my eyes about prayer.

I’m still trying to figure out how much information is appropriate to share, but I’m going to try to be as open and honest about things as possible without opening up too much about my personal life.  I hope you understand.

I also feel the need to share with you that I’m not a Bible whiz – I know what God’s Word says, but I usually can’t remember where to find something and have to use my Bible’s concordance or Google part of the verse that I’m trying to recall.  I say this because sometimes when I read some of the other blogs I’m in awe of how someone seems to know the Bible so well or speaks so eloquently about it.  God has really gotten a hold of me recently though and has revealed more to me by simply spending time in His Word.  So, if you’d like to learn more about Jesus and what God is trying to teach us, try opening your Bible (or downloading a Bible app) and spending a few minutes with Him – you’ll be surprised how things will jump off of the page and into your heart like never before!  The Holy Spirit will speak to you through His Word and your relationship with Jesus will be so sweet!  It will be such a personal relationship.

Well, this first blog post has been a bit disappointing for me as far as the content that I had hoped to share with you.  I feel like I’ve been all over the place with my thoughts.  My next post will (hopefully) be more focused and inspirational!

What are you waiting expectantly on God for in this time of your life?

Until next time, God Bless,

Penelope G.