September 26, 2018
Hello, friend. Have you ever had to wait on something that you really really wanted? Well, that’s where I am right now – no surprise to you if you’ve read my previous posts. Waiting is hard – and, waiting on God, well, that can be really hard. He currently has me in a season of waiting. It’s hard because I want to ask God what’s going on. I’m writing without having all of the answers, only what God has given us in his Word as His promises. It’s what I’m standing on and holding on to at this point in my life. Proverbs 3:5-6 tell us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths” (ESV). I’m sharing this information with you, but really it’s me who needs the reminding.
I’ve also been reminded that Galatians 6:9 tells us, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (ESV). And when I think about things and wonder if something is still possible, I am reminded of Luke 18:27 “What is impossible with men is possible with God” (ESV). I’m not trying to throw Bible verses at you. It’s just the only way I know to look at things right now. And, since I asked God for a situation where only He would have control… well, I have to be willing to keep on waiting, even if it’s not what I want or hope for at that point in time. Sometimes I wonder what on Earth I was thinking praying and asking God for that kind of situation. I was already in it though. It’s kept me surrendering my will to God on a daily basis – if not hourly sometimes.
I know that God is going to answer my prayers one way or another. He is faithful and loves us – I know that much! Sometimes I’d just like to be able to see some light at the end of the tunnel though. Until then I just have to pray and wait. Well, I guess there’s the other option of trying to take hold of things on my own again; but, that hasn’t served me well in the past. So, I’m trying something new – letting God have control. I’m going to wait and see what happens. He’s already shown His awesome providential hand in the past. I just have to keep that in mind and know that He is good and that if He can do something one or twice (or more) that He can do it again! I’m praying that I will know God’s will for my life and that my heart’s desires will match His will. It wasn’t easy for me to pray that in the beginning because I wanted my desires for my life. Praying for God’s desires means letting go of your own will, even if it means that your own desires fall to the side. But, I also know that God isn’t going to give us His will and make us miserable in the middle of it. We will enjoy it because He knows us too well to give us anything bad. James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (NIV).
So, during this period of waiting I’m trying to figure out what God’s will is for my life, reading my Bible, trying to improve on what I know needs to change, and praying (a lot). 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 tell us to, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I’ve never been so close to praying without ceasing in my entire life. It can be exhausting at times. You know what though, I’m not rejoicing always. That’s something that I need to work on. And, to give thanks in all circumstances – well, that can be hard to do. He’s not telling us to be thankful for all circumstances, but to be thankful in all circumstances. I misunderstood that for years. Had I actually pulled out my Bible and read it more often I might have actually seen that sooner. God has blessed me and I have a lot to be thankful for. So, maybe I need to not only focus on the middle of that passage, but the front and the back ends of it as well. I think we could all learn to do a little more rejoicing and giving thanks to God.
I’ve asked for God to take the desires of my heart away if they don’t match His will for my life. That was a hard thing to pray at first. But, I really do mean it. I have wanted a Christian man who is after God’s heart (which is God’s will) – that and a few other things mixed in. I thought I found it with Kyle; but, maybe God has someone else in mind. I don’t know. What I do know is that my desire to get to know Kyle more still hasn’t changed. So, either I’m being really stubborn (Lord Jesus, I really hope and pray not) or God has something really special in store. This is where my mind can’t make sense of things and I have to pray for the Holy Spirit to convict my heart if I’m in the wrong. So, far I’ve not sensed it though when it comes to praying about this situation. So, I’m back to where I started… waiting expectantly on God. I have a feeling that God wants us to wait on Him for a lot of things in life. I know that I’ve been guilty for far too long of trying to take control of my life instead of consulting Him first. Venture out and allow God to take control of a certain aspect of your life – it will be worth it! I can say that with confidence even during this period of waiting. I say that in faith because He gives us every reason to believe in Him. I just need to keep reminding myself of that and how He’s come through for me in the past.
Never stop praying, my friend. He wants that conversation with us even though He already knows our hearts. We never know when God will answer our prayers! He does miracles every day! Have you stopped believing? Hebrews 13:8 tell us, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (NIV). That means that the same God that did miracles in the Bible is the same God that can do them today. Sometimes we box Him in when He is able to do so much more than we think! Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” (NIV). So, I’m praying for God to “wow” me again even though I know that I don’t deserve it. He loves His children though; and, if we have asked God into our hearts then we know that He loves us and wants to bless us as His children.
Friend, keep praying and waiting on God. I hope to read your testimony one day about your season of waiting and how God has answered your prayers.
God Bless and we’ll talk again soon,
Penelope G.