December 2020
Hello, Friend –
It’s Christmastime, and for the past few years I’ve sent out a photo of me and my dogs as a Christmas card to family and friends. However, this year, instead of a Christmas card, I decided to write a Christmas letter. To be honest, it started with me not wanting to fake a smile for a Christmas card picture. I try to be authentic in my life; and, while some days I’m more successful than others, I would have felt like an imposter plastering on a smile for a picture. For some, 2020 has been a really good year, but for many, like me, 2020 has been tough – for various reasons. I considered just sending a traditional Christmas card, but that didn’t sit well with me either. Also, have you seen the stores this year?! They are out of almost everything Christmas, to include cards and décor! I guess people decided to be “merry and bright” and bought up all things Christmas to bring as much cheer as possible during this very strange and trying time. Good for them and the stores!
This year has tested me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically in ways that I would have never imagined. Thankfully, some very dear family and friends have been there to walk alongside me. Recently, I was at home listening to music as a song called, “Human Condition,” by Unspoken began playing. As I was listening to the song, the lyrics hit home – because as much as I do try to be authentic, I also try to keep things inside and hold it together (for myself and others). However, I have a couple of people in my life that are able to call my bluff when I’m just phoning it in when speaking with them. I’m thankful for them. It’s not easy to be vulnerable and authentic, but I can usually allow myself to do so with them. And, while being honest with other people is one thing, being honest with myself can also be hard. Which brings me to my next point, being honest with God. Why do we find it hard to be honest with the One who knows it all? For some, being honest with God means thinking and feeling things that can be scary or seem blasphemous or disrespectful towards God. You know what though? He can handle it – He already knows. It’s us that have to process it all – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Have you ever ugly cried to God about something? I have – hands waving through the air, my voice quiet and broken one minute to loud and emotional the next, all the while hot tears streaming down my face – some of it even about God Himself. It didn’t change anything in the moment, but somehow I felt better. Afterall, prayer is a conversation with God. Friend, I encourage you not only to speak with God, but to be honest and vulnerable with Him. He wants a relationship with you – it’s not about religion, it’s about a relationship. There’s a big difference between knowing about someone and actually knowing them. Conversation is a two-way street though. Take time to listen. Much is said to the heart in silence, especially if you take time to open the Bible and read what’s written.
I don’t know about you, but I’m praying that 2021 is the greatest year of my life yet! I don’t expect the change of the calendar to magically transform things; but, as Christmas draws nearer, I’m trying to quiet my heart and to look and listen for hope. I’m looking for the silver lining in the clouds that bring the rain to produce fragrant flowers in my life. This past year I’ve been trying to live out Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Honestly, I’ve failed at it a lot, but I keep looking to the One who offers hope and refusing to let go of promises made in the pages of scripture. Hope was born in a manger, crucified on a cross, and raised from the dead over 2000 years ago. His name is Jesus. So, as 2020 comes to an end, I’m giving it one good look in the rearview mirror and refusing to live there a minute longer than needed. I’m choosing to look with hope to the future and waiting expectantly on God to come through in ways that I can only begin to imagine. I pray that you do the same, friend. More than that though, I pray that you know Jesus – the reason for Christmas… and better yet, Easter.
Merry Christmas,
Penelope G.
It’s probably no surprise, but the song for this blog post is “Human Condition” by Unspoken: https://youtu.be/DTVXFh8TX68
I hope the lyrics speak to you as they did me:
“Human Condition” by Unspoken
I fake my confidence and put it on like armor
Five-foot-nine so I try to stand a little taller
To measure up I got to work a little harder
It’s the human condition
I do it all to make it perfect for the picture
Pretty smile, let me find the perfect filter
If they believe it maybe I’ll believe it with them
That’s the human condition
Lord, help me, I’m so tired of pretending
I can hold it together, when I know that I can’t
Lord, show me, I don’t have to be worthy
It’s because of Your mercy
You love me, You love me
Just as I am
You love me, You love me, You love me
Just as I am
You love me, You love me, You love me
Just as I am
A crown of thorns and a cross that was too heavy
My jaded heart was unaware it needed saving
You could have turned, could have run, could have left me in my…
My human condition
And if I’m really being honest
Every day I struggle with the promise
That all I am is all You ever wanted, ever wanted
Lord, help me, I’m so tired of pretending
I can hold it together, when I know that I can’t
Lord, show me, I don’t have to be worthy
It’s because of Your mercy
You love me, You love me
Just as I am
You love me, You love me, You love me
Just as I am
You love me, You love me, You love me
Just as I am
When I’m lost in my fear
In the dark, insecure
Let me fall in the arms
Of the One who loves me
Just as I am
You love me, You love me, You love me
Just as I am
You love me, You love me, You love me
Just as I am
All my dirt, all my scars
Every burden on my heart
You take them all, take them all
Every tear (You love me)
Every stain (You love me)
You wash away
‘Cause You love me
Just as I am